Thursday, September 10, 2015

Parents of Adult Children Forum

There are hundreds of stories you have shared as the parent of an adult child. Some of these are heartbreaking, some uplifting.

There are hundreds of comments you have left -- some angry, some regretful, some hopeful.

All of these inhabit the "Comments" sections of my two most read blog posts "When Adult Children Become Strangers" and "Parents and Adult Children: Finding the Balance."

However, I have been hearing from readers recently that it is hard to leave additional comments or to find the most recent comments on both blog posts.

So here is a fresh start, a clean slate.

Anyone who wants to comment about one of the Parents and Adult Children blog posts or simply to tell his or her own story or share observations about what works and what doesn't in building closeness or resolving conflicts with adult children can write in the Comments section attached to this post.

I truly appreciate all you've shared in the past -- whether you've agreed with me or not -- and look forward to reading many more of your enlightening stories and insights!


  1. My brother and I had good parents but our father was often critical of our looks and that really impacted both of us negatively. Now our parents are gone so what we have been doing lately is sharing those experiences because we didn't know that the other was being harassed negatively. So now we have a bond in that regard and after sharing the bad experiences, we decided to share the positive ones and they by far outweighed the bad ones. We are also reinforcing each other about our negative self images and turning them into positives, like "Do I looked really bow legged?" "Is my chin strong enough for a male?" "Do I really walk like an elephant?" "Are my shoulders slumped?"

  2. I have the great privilege of being a part of a group of women called Monica Mom. We call ourselves by this name because Monica was the name of the mother of St. Augustine. We meet every two weeks to pray for our adult children. You would not believe what a beautiful group of women these women are. Many are struggling with great burdens for their children. We have seen amazing answers to prayer. I don't write about it on my blog because of the very personal nature of this group. I am deeply blessed because of these women. We've learned so much from each other. Mostly, I guess we've learned to let go of trying to fix the problems our children have and lean on God for their needs.

    1. What a neat group to belong to, Sally. Support groups for these issues would help so many of us.

    2. I agree very much. Having a higher power to lean on and others going through similar circumstances is the greatest help there is. How was your group formed?

    3. Thank you Dr. McCoy for revising things so posting is now easier!!!!!

  3. Love this, Kathy.... There are or can be so many issues in this area --so if you get lots of response and thoughts, maybe you can choose certain topics to discuss --one at a time... I know that lots of parents have heard both good and bad thoughts about moving near where the children live.. I would NEVER do it --until I was alone and HAD to have help.... BUT--many parents make a huge move only to find out that it didn't work...

    Another situation is getting married again as an older adult --and dealing with his and her adult children. That is where I am now... My husband loves his daughter and she loves him. But she has never liked me --since I am VERY different from her mother (who died long before George and I were married). SO---I am always trying to play the 'nice guy' role when it comes to the relationship she and her father have. It is NOT easy....

    Great start.... I'll be reading and watching others' thoughts about these MANY issues involving so many of us as we get older.


  4. We have an adult child who is a joy, of course she lives nearly4,000 miles from us but we talk everyday..She is so different from both of us, so creative we are not, she is fearless and brave, she never was like the gals she went to school with her entire lives, she has enjoyed being alone an enjoys her particular lifestyle..Her kitty cat recently died and it nearly threw her for a loop having the cat longer than a lot of relationships, she was a wonderful kitty to her and us..she comes home about 4 times a year, we fly out to see her and enjoy her immensely always have! We don't get people who criticize their kids, and those that think they made the wrong choices, why act that way, I lost my Mom when I was young and my hubs dad was never around so he had to grow up immediately..Our only is caring, loving and kind and so damn sweet it is something else she only sees the good in most people, she has a wicked sense of humor and a temper to match but it rarely explodes..Her daddy turned 30 just before she was born and she is a lot like him, always thinking the lest of people forgiving them their transgressions knowing that people are human beings with a spiritual core wether they believe it or not..Lucky me..both scorpios with long memories but forgiveness no better human beings in the entire world in my opinion..I say beeeeee kind and loving to your familia they really are all you got in this life and friends if you are so lucky, I love everyone, I see the good in everyone, life is so short why not be sweet, peaceful, kind and loving!

  5. My daughters are very good ladies. 31 and 25. I pray to God that He will take care of them and protect them from harm.

  6. My daughters are awesome and nice. Very loving and supportive of us. Thank God. I love them so much.