tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post7730442696959141106..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Adult Children: Surviving the Holidays With or Without ThemDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-34960432323645291322017-12-09T08:14:19.178-07:002017-12-09T08:14:19.178-07:00I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know whe...I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know where you live but if there is a way to get in contact with you-to uplift your spirits and know you don't have to be alone on the holidays. I wish the best for you. (a female who read your note)Kiminoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-39253801756267259602017-11-04T11:38:00.248-07:002017-11-04T11:38:00.248-07:00what do you do when the husband commits suicide an...what do you do when the husband commits suicide and all adult children are fighting with each other. this has gone on now for over 9 years. I am left alone, because they can't get along.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-58811758249606327592016-11-26T16:01:15.461-07:002016-11-26T16:01:15.461-07:00I have one son who married a girl who does not wan...I have one son who married a girl who does not want to celebrate anything with my husband and me. She plans trips or does things only with her family. This means we do not get to see our son or grandson at all. We have extended invites to other family members, so we can still be festive and enjoy the holidays. It is really sad, since our son is an only child. Apparently, he really enjoys his new wife's lively family and does not even feel the need to call us on a holiday. As long as his wife is happy spending time with her family, our son is content to go along with her plans.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-35678740030051839632016-11-21T03:24:28.502-07:002016-11-21T03:24:28.502-07:00My motto has always been, if your here we will hav...My motto has always been, if your here we will have a good time, if your not here you will be missed but we will still have a good timeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-43073230811971173592016-11-08T04:30:00.556-07:002016-11-08T04:30:00.556-07:00Every year since the day he was born in 1989, my s...Every year since the day he was born in 1989, my son has spent Christmas with his family. Son was married in June and informed me last night his wife scheduled them a two-week trip to Europe December 16 through 29 and I am very upset. I am divorced and don't have a partner in my life and my only family is my daughter and son and I think it's mean and selfish for my daughter in law to do this and son to agree. She's from a different culture and could care less about the holidays. My son in medical school and has a two week breather and said they would go away day after Christmas but wife wants him all to herself. How do I deal with this. She's been this way since she met my son and now they are married. It's their first Christmas together and it's all about them traveling. My daughter is going to be so upset as well . My parents and family are deceased and I only have my two kids. The holidays have always been a really big deal in the family - no more. Our family was always so close. I welcomed wife into family 3 years ago but she's not interested and makes no effort as she wants son all to herself and her mother and grandmother. I'm heartbroken I miss my son so much - rarely see him anymore and he lives 1.5 hours away. Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13517115860943993425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-6782320563572359232015-10-26T16:36:38.107-07:002015-10-26T16:36:38.107-07:00I'm so glad that you are better! It's also...I'm so glad that you are better! It's also a good sign that you feel like getting out. Have you tried to join a club, attend a local church, or volunteer? These are excellent ways to meet new friends and get back out into the world. Good luck to you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12007095964904907826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-40545172336215077462015-10-12T05:53:23.199-07:002015-10-12T05:53:23.199-07:00My husband's parents divorced when he was youn...My husband's parents divorced when he was younger, so he has a lot of experience from the child's perspective. His parents were civil and kept the children a priority during the divorce, and it's so important to keep that in mind. Both his parents are nice to each other, but the children are the most important thing to them. Thanks for sharing your tips on going about the holidays. bradenlawoffice.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03816993857361727328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-45867707032843524212015-08-17T19:41:56.521-07:002015-08-17T19:41:56.521-07:00This post was very uplifting and helpful to a moth...This post was very uplifting and helpful to a mother and father who are having difficulty accepting the fact that holidays will never be the same since our youngest son married someone who prefers to spend every holiday with her family, and our middle son has recently divorced. My husband and I did not have good extended family ties...always some problem with someone in the family wanting to boycott our invitations, etc. We always held our three sons close and experienced many years of wonderful holiday memories while they were growing up. I have been having great difficulty adjusting to the changes in our family and accepting the fact that we will not be spending time together celebrating as we have in the past. It is good to see that we are not alone, and that others are finding ways to compensate for their loss during the holiday season. I am going to being planning a creative alternative to the holidays this year and start enjoying the people who choose to celebrate along with us. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-20427459980701015562015-07-19T03:34:29.872-07:002015-07-19T03:34:29.872-07:00Seek the courage and confidence ìn facing the life...Seek the courage and confidence ìn facing the life.Miracles happen in life everyday! Have faith in God and in yourself.Don't worry about the past.Seek guidance of God it will reach you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-89901917844659813942015-05-15T20:35:57.009-07:002015-05-15T20:35:57.009-07:00I have no companion and for many years I have cele...I have no companion and for many years I have celebrated holidays alone because my children live out of town and never comes to visit me for holidays. I do not have many friends because I have been busy studying on my computer obtaining college degrees. I was a nurse and now I am disabled and cannot do nursing anymore. I receive disability from social security but I want to work, so I am rehabilitating my self into another career. I am 59 years old. I am tired of buying my children love. They know what position I am in with loneliness so they take advantage of this situation. Whenever they do call I am desperate to talk to them. This year I would like to change all of this. I want my own life but I do not know how to go about meeting people who would make good friends. I have a heart condition but the doctor says I have improved tremendously. I can even go back to work if I feel well enough. I been on disability since 2008. I also live in building for people over 50 and those that are disabled. These people are not good candidates for friends because those that are not disabled does not want to go any where or do anything. If I do ask them to go places, they look to me to pay for it. Can someone give me some advice on which direction I should go. It would be very much appreciated. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-49453198900457235882012-12-23T23:22:30.564-07:002012-12-23T23:22:30.564-07:00So much good advice here. Our grown, single childr...So much good advice here. Our grown, single children still come home for Christmas, and we also have our mothers join us. It must be difficult to be without close family members, but your advice will help those who want to make the best of it.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-80474892724224909112012-12-22T21:08:22.706-07:002012-12-22T21:08:22.706-07:00Many times Christmas was just not a very happy tim...Many times Christmas was just not a very happy time for me because I didn't have my children with me. Many times we traveled to make sure we were the children for Christmas. Many of the times of travel were not that fun for us. We missed our home. The weather was terrible. We had storms that were scary to drive through. <br /><br />This year, we will celebrate quietly with a daughter and her children on Christmas Eve. We must deliver the children to their father by noon on Christmas Day. That is the way it is in today's world. <br /><br />I am looking forward to staying home and celebrating in our new home. I invited the other children(step) over. They felt they needed to celebrate with their mom. Last year we included her in our celebration at our home. I guess this year she did not want to do that. Again, that is just the way it is. <br /><br />Your post is invaluable advice. Acceptance of the way things are rather than how we wish they were is key to surviving the holidays. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-75548363369214615402012-12-21T17:10:31.705-07:002012-12-21T17:10:31.705-07:00Christmas at times is very stressful. Luckily for...Christmas at times is very stressful. Luckily for me my children are still young. We always have my family over to our house for Christmas for the past 10 years. Mom isn't able to do all the cooking and stuff so I do it. This will be the first year without Granny. Things keep changing and we just have to accept it. Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15240864960032938754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-48695713920647933772012-12-21T12:26:06.925-07:002012-12-21T12:26:06.925-07:00What a timely and perfect post, Kathy. I think the...What a timely and perfect post, Kathy. I think there is a scenario or idea for all and if you don't mind, I'll share it on my FB page. <br /><br />We are lucky in that the family of Kevin's fiancee is here in town and while we adjust to do Christmas Eve in 23rd/morning 24th, we know someday if Greg settles in, we may be in that same boat. And of course, there is sharing them with their mom. Somehow we've made it work and fingers are crossed it will continue -- but this is a good reference no matter what!Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-31469465330519272742012-12-21T10:58:49.053-07:002012-12-21T10:58:49.053-07:00We're going through this right now -- our firs...We're going through this right now -- our first Christmas when the family isn't all together. Two are working; one is off skiing with friends. It's very disconcerting, and making us restless and uneasy. So, as you suggest, we're talking about some alternatives -- maybe next year we'll try to get everyone together early in December and have our "Christmas" celebration then; or maybe we'll avoid all the anxiety, and just go on a trip. Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08611148987085476580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-6860139518956031782012-12-21T10:45:40.612-07:002012-12-21T10:45:40.612-07:00Great post and one that so many, many of us need t...Great post and one that so many, many of us need to read... Life changes when our kids grow up and become adults.... When I was single --I could spend the holidays with one of my sons or another... Once George and I got married, things changed... I did make some mistakes like not buying a home large enough to make the kids/families seem welcome... I never thought of that when we bought our home... <br /><br />Being long distance is hard --but we all have worked things out pretty well. My youngest son and his new bride have invited us to their home on Saturday. That will work out fine, so I do like your idea of celebrating at other times. <br /><br />George and I are so happy together --so being JUST with each other on holidays is fine with us.. We both love our children/grandchildren --but we also just enjoy each other. <br /><br />A holiday trip is a good thing I think --especially for families who are upset about not seeing the children. I personally prefer to be home for the holidays --especially Christmas.<br /><br />Thanks for such a great post... Wish more people could read it---since so many seem to melancholy this time of year without the children around...<br /><br />Merry Christmas to you and yours.<br />Hugs,<br />BetsyBetsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-14402226702229134182012-12-21T08:38:49.747-07:002012-12-21T08:38:49.747-07:00Wonderful post and you covered all the bases. And ...Wonderful post and you covered all the bases. And yes, people can enjoy the holidays if not in the most traditional "Norman Rockwell" way.<br />Wishing you a wonderful Christmas enjoyed in your own style and may 2013 bring you happiness and good health. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-76946326397121564282012-12-21T08:38:39.993-07:002012-12-21T08:38:39.993-07:00You are so right. If you can't be with the one...You are so right. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.<br />So many people out there wouldn't mind a friend this time of year and there are many ways to make it special.<br />Have a good one. <br />Yey! We are still here today, the 21st.<br />:)A Lady's Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11973102350411443282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-70212628970992969962012-12-21T01:39:53.621-07:002012-12-21T01:39:53.621-07:00As always a post full of wisdom and insioght, Kath...As always a post full of wisdom and insioght, Kathy. I think DH and I are very lucky that our adult children always want us to spend the festive season with them. In our small country it's easy for us to visit one for Christmas and the other for New Year, always alternating year by year. Sometimes I thin DH would enjoy a Christmas with just the two of us, but we don't see as much of the grandchildren as we would like and this is the perfect opportunity. <br /><br />Have a wonderful Christmas in your own special way, dear Kathy.Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.com