tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post4852261002656670977..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Living with RegretsDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-49480715731337723342012-02-19T20:30:14.174-07:002012-02-19T20:30:14.174-07:00This is such a deep yet sweet reflection. I do ha...This is such a deep yet sweet reflection. I do have regrets as well, but as you mentioned, the past should be seen as experiences and insightful events to lead us into wiser decisions at the present. <br /><br />Thank you for this beautiful post!<br /><br />DorisHold my hand: a social worker's bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06283197748791227012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-10703500052617234782012-02-13T03:15:52.165-07:002012-02-13T03:15:52.165-07:00This post really spoke to me. My biggest regret i...This post really spoke to me. My biggest regret is not being able to go to university. It was always my one dream, and I made sure my daughter went, and she has a Master's degree now and loves her career. To me, having an education is the difference between being outside the candy store looking in, or being inside. But, it's never too late, is it?<br /><br />I remember that wonderful song, <em>Come Saturday Morning...</em> I'm going to have that going through my head now. Thank you! (At least it chases out that Adele song that has been playing over and over and over...) *heh*Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03382221688268676914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-86049034126477946162012-02-09T19:43:42.140-07:002012-02-09T19:43:42.140-07:00Dear Kathy, I haven't visited in a while. That...Dear Kathy, I haven't visited in a while. That is my loss. I really enjoyed this post. It speaks to so much that I need hear. At my age, and with a little extra time on my hands, I sometimes think about things I should, would, could have done different. I do have to bring my self back to the present and love myself for the person I am. <br />I am always inspired to be a better person when I visit you.<br />Thank you for all that you do.<br />GingerSavannah Grannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14696512605529986289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-15561736633745989922012-02-03T15:15:00.443-07:002012-02-03T15:15:00.443-07:00I found that, for me, the best way to deal with re...I found that, for me, the best way to deal with regrets, was to live in the present moment. No past. No future. Just today. And if I did today just right, I was content. And if I got it wrong, after all, there was always tomorrow.<br /><br />You have to put your choices into context. At the time you made them, it probably was the right thing to do. The fact that things over time changed can not be a factor in your original decision. Who knew? Right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-42998976842610853562012-02-03T11:57:09.232-07:002012-02-03T11:57:09.232-07:00Forgiving oneself is really key, I think. The same...Forgiving oneself is really key, I think. The same way that we forgive others by realizing they did the best they could at the time with the upbringing, experience and intelligence they had, we have to give ourselves that forgiveness as well. And then move forward with new wisdom.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-61045976895346708302012-02-02T23:15:44.103-07:002012-02-02T23:15:44.103-07:00Oh, sweet Maggie, thank you so much! Love to you, ...Oh, sweet Maggie, thank you so much! Love to you, too!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-28430022082997378812012-02-02T23:13:53.856-07:002012-02-02T23:13:53.856-07:00Thanks so much, Friko! I really appreciated your c...Thanks so much, Friko! I really appreciated your comment!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-13966708127224557242012-02-02T23:13:13.786-07:002012-02-02T23:13:13.786-07:00Thanks, Pearl! I'd forgotten how lovely that s...Thanks, Pearl! I'd forgotten how lovely that song was, too, until the other day when I heard it at the gym and it evoked so many memories. I think, like you, that it's part of evolving maturity to realize the impact we have on the lives of others and the importance of kindness and thoughtfulness.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-75141595558939405212012-02-02T19:04:38.956-07:002012-02-02T19:04:38.956-07:00Dr. Kathy reading this tonight just reminds me of ...Dr. Kathy reading this tonight just reminds me of how much I love you and your writing.<br />Thank you for writing such a beautiful memory and life lesson. I think most of us can relate to this since we are older and look back on how we were when in college.<br />Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes <br />Love<br />MaggieGrandma Yellow Hairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917551672825097342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-36686291432014318352012-02-02T10:25:03.073-07:002012-02-02T10:25:03.073-07:00Regrets are futile if you don't learn from the...Regrets are futile if you don't learn from them. <br />You are a very wise lady. Thank you for laying out a few simple lessons in such a kind and lucid way.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-61065070228635216812012-02-01T14:34:31.834-07:002012-02-01T14:34:31.834-07:00I'd forgotten what a lovely song that is.
I, ...I'd forgotten what a lovely song that is.<br /><br />I, too, live with regret over my self-absorption and early-adulthood cruelties... I recognized this a number of years ago and now keep "kindness" and "thoughtfulness" at the front of my mind as often as possible. It's an ongoing process, of course, but I am no longer blind to how I can effect others...<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-91551673813939807382012-02-01T11:56:18.257-07:002012-02-01T11:56:18.257-07:00Thanks for your kindness, Jeanie, both in your two...Thanks for your kindness, Jeanie, both in your two comments on this post and also in letting me know about the difficulty in commenting. I'll look into that for sure. I certainly don't want to discourage any comments! I so appreciate every one of them!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-14165846320811048792012-02-01T11:54:57.433-07:002012-02-01T11:54:57.433-07:00Thanks so much for your kind comments, Rosaria! I ...Thanks so much for your kind comments, Rosaria! I would love to hear more about your coming to America and life experiences that brought you to the present time. What a fascinating and full life you have -- and have had!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-55780685078905131732012-02-01T11:53:15.238-07:002012-02-01T11:53:15.238-07:00You're so right, Tom! It's all just specul...You're so right, Tom! It's all just speculation, isn't it? Whatever road we take, there are joys and sorrows along the way and I feel that things, at least for me, have turned out the way they were meant to. I wouldn't change a thing -- although I wish I had been kinder and more insightful in my youth though I suspect that the person I am now grew from all the experiences, both positively and negatively, along my life's path.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-31962526855273025882012-02-01T11:50:29.498-07:002012-02-01T11:50:29.498-07:00It's always nice to have options, Linda, but I...It's always nice to have options, Linda, but I really relate to what you're saying about not being a risk-taker!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-73652240002232473972012-02-01T11:45:24.549-07:002012-02-01T11:45:24.549-07:00Thanks so much for your kind words, Sally!
I thin...Thanks so much for your kind words, Sally!<br /><br />I think so much of the past lives in one's perceptions. I know I could have been nicer. Michael may have a different take on that, sweet person that he is. I remember one incident with a New York publisher -- who has also become a dear friend of mine over the past 30 years. We had a dinner in New York where I made the mistake of having a drink (I don't think I've had one since) and got surly and berated him for some imagined slight. He disappeared into the men's room for about 10 minutes and then came back and said brusquely "I'm taking you back to your hotel. Come on." I was instantly sober, horrified and ashamed. I called my agent and cried about my terrible behavior with one of the most important professional contacts I had. A few days later, this publisher called me and said that he had been evasive about my contract -- which was what set me off -- because he was changing publishing houses and wanted to take me with him. I apologized for my behavior and he seemed genuinely surprised. "Oh, Kathy," he said. "You weren't so bad. Okay, you were a tad whiney. And you really ought to stick to Diet Coke. But I understood. If you knew how some other authors behave, you would understand that the other night was nothing." I still felt ashamed of myself, but was encouraged - - and have since stuck firmly to Diet Coke or sparkling water!<br /><br />I so agree with you about turning regrets into learning opportunities!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-18585022554099805592012-02-01T11:36:37.263-07:002012-02-01T11:36:37.263-07:00Thanks so much! I think it's normal, from time...Thanks so much! I think it's normal, from time to time, to look over one's shoulder, but not too much -- because one could miss so much that's special about today by dwelling in the past. That's great that you try to live your life unfettered by regrets. That's a worthy goal for all of us!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-38833377768361509912012-02-01T11:34:19.755-07:002012-02-01T11:34:19.755-07:00How inspiring that you grew from being a reticent ...How inspiring that you grew from being a reticent tutor to being a fantastic teacher! That's such a wonderful example of growing from a regret.<br /><br /> I do appreciate Michael a great deal. I have seen in the past and in the present what a good person he is. He married a woman who had teenage children -- and embraced them with love. And now he nurtures their children as the sweetest grandpa ever. He has never had the biological children he longed for in his youth, but he is the heart of a very close and loving family nonetheless. I never cease to be moved and amazed by his emotional generosity towards others.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-85311518520725504592012-02-01T11:29:22.558-07:002012-02-01T11:29:22.558-07:00Aw, shucks, Janet! Thanks so much for your kindnes...Aw, shucks, Janet! Thanks so much for your kindness. It's true that we're works in progress and that the past is primarily useful in what it can teach us today.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-77789354601782374672012-02-01T11:28:22.363-07:002012-02-01T11:28:22.363-07:00You're so right, Perpetua. Everything does pal...You're so right, Perpetua. Everything does pale into insignificance given the blessing of a 44 years long love! How fortunate you were to find this special man at such a young age!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-50323611916751091642012-02-01T11:27:14.051-07:002012-02-01T11:27:14.051-07:00Thank you, Jo! I really appreciate your visit and ...Thank you, Jo! I really appreciate your visit and kind comments!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-50276545824632380792012-02-01T11:26:46.863-07:002012-02-01T11:26:46.863-07:00Yes, that "road not taken" does come to ...Yes, that "road not taken" does come to mind occasionally, doesn't it? Like you, I'm happy with me right here, right now, so I really wouldn't want to change anything.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-26271779368567690732012-02-01T11:25:36.031-07:002012-02-01T11:25:36.031-07:00You're so right, Shelly! Thanks so much for yo...You're so right, Shelly! Thanks so much for you visit and kind comments!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-40086739279100593382012-01-31T17:34:27.732-07:002012-01-31T17:34:27.732-07:00Kathy, I don't know what happened, but this ti...Kathy, I don't know what happened, but this time it came up. Well, what I said in my note still stands -- lovely post!Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-2957330194068959772012-01-31T16:09:19.874-07:002012-01-31T16:09:19.874-07:00In the end, we must all feel a bit foolish by who ...In the end, we must all feel a bit foolish by who we were, how we acted, the things we should have said, the steps we should have taken.<br /><br />Yes, we walk through one door and we close another. My coming to America opened many doors, and closed the one door I wish now I never closed. Regrets? Of course! Yet, what we do is what we do and no amount of regret can undo it.<br /><br />This is a great post, Kathy. Wise, kind, instructive and lucid, full of wonderful examples.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.com