tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post2401006484177392849..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Retirement's Moments of Quiet DesperationDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-81921216447549672014-09-03T15:36:03.766-07:002014-09-03T15:36:03.766-07:00I can't believe I missed this when it was post...I can't believe I missed this when it was posted but from the dates it was while I was on an internet break! Boy, do these words ring true. So far, it has been everything I hoped for, all I could have wanted. I'm still not bored, dissatisfied or broke, happier with Rick than ever and full of joy and health. But I know it isn't that way for everyone, not always easy and at some point it may not be for me, either. Till then, I hold my breath and get ready to celebrate my first year in another week and a half!Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-78739463752871851032014-07-20T16:32:05.912-07:002014-07-20T16:32:05.912-07:00I'm 56 and still have teens at home. My walkin...I'm 56 and still have teens at home. My walking group friends are between 62 and 64 - empty nesters with grandkids. I listen to the stories of their lives and even my mother's, who is 81, only to learn that retirement isn't necessarily Utopia. Actually, most of the time it isn't. It seems to me that we're all at the mercy of our natural temperaments. Money, retirement, good health... or the opposites, don't seem to fully dictate our lives; but temperaments do. <br /><br />Good advice in this post for those of us who are not naturally perky and optimistic. We have to do the things that you suggest in this post and MAKE it happen for us.<br /><br />Btw, thankfully, I lean more towards having more good days than bad; more smiles than frowns. :) Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08180243708565855383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-7289040550379866012014-07-15T19:29:21.315-07:002014-07-15T19:29:21.315-07:00Like all your post I need to read and reread this ...Like all your post I need to read and reread this until it sinks in because I felt like you wrote this for your friend Maggie.<br />Thank you for this post. I have been so depressed about where I am at this age that it keeps me from living the life of gratitude that I want to live.<br />I am grateful that I am still healthy enough to work and keep a roof over my head.<br />I ordered your book and can not wait to read it. You inspire me to be a better person and I love that I have you as a friend out here in this world of blogging.<br />Maybe you can do a post for my little site and promote your book.<br />Love ya<br />MaggieGrandma Yellow Hairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917551672825097342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-2449682933686476372014-07-14T14:34:36.901-07:002014-07-14T14:34:36.901-07:00I think our instincts were right when we decided t...I think our instincts were right when we decided to stay in our same location after retirement - at least for most of the year. Four months away in the winter, to a sunny place, makes all the difference.<br /><br />Good post!Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-48812859788487846902014-07-14T14:14:20.417-07:002014-07-14T14:14:20.417-07:00Kathy....such a WISE post today.....'LOVING WH...Kathy....such a WISE post today.....'LOVING WHAT IS" is a good philosophy for retirement...don't you agree?<br /><br />xo<br /><br />JoMy Grama's Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114089036939629527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-71147690142997146672014-07-13T09:44:15.376-07:002014-07-13T09:44:15.376-07:00Oh, Rosaria, you're so right and state this so...Oh, Rosaria, you're so right and state this so wonderfully! Some people will always complain, bicker and be at odds with the world and themselves. And some adapt wonderfully. But I'm hoping some of those in the middle -- open to change -- may find this helpful. But you're right that the litany of depressing situations can depress the heck of one! After hearing and seeing a lot of these from neighbors and friends and acquaintances here, I started writing this a long time ago, but kept putting it aside -- because it was so depressing! Thanks so much for your visit, kind words and wonderfully clear assessment!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-62588995132815287622014-07-13T09:39:28.121-07:002014-07-13T09:39:28.121-07:00Thanks, Geo! You bring up an important point: not ...Thanks, Geo! You bring up an important point: not blaming others. And it does take time. And some never get there. But it's a project worth attempting.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-77368732888594066232014-07-13T09:38:06.028-07:002014-07-13T09:38:06.028-07:00Thanks so much, Perpetua!Thanks so much, Perpetua!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-44701836071074418592014-07-13T09:37:37.887-07:002014-07-13T09:37:37.887-07:00Betsy, you're absolutely right: no pity partie...Betsy, you're absolutely right: no pity parties! Attitude is everything. I see some people here who see only ugliness and some who see incredible beauty. Life is so much happier when one can see the beauty in all things.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-51408306062819036952014-07-13T09:36:12.742-07:002014-07-13T09:36:12.742-07:00Thanks so much. I think we all bring our challenge...Thanks so much. I think we all bring our challenges and our gifts to retirement and, as you say, gratitude for the blessings can help a lot.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-91384653144953622852014-07-13T09:15:28.703-07:002014-07-13T09:15:28.703-07:00Goodness! If this weren't so well written and ...Goodness! If this weren't so well written and clear-headed, I'd say you are trying to depress the heck out of us. While I agree with all these assessments, and the resourceful assistance you provided, I tend to think that people act out more or less in retirement as they did in their younger years. The planners keep on planning; the complainers keep on complaining; and the dreamers keep on dreaming. Those who learned to embrace change will do better at adapting than the rest;but, adapting we all must. <br /><br />What we all need is a phone app. for "senior issues". Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-57588874844148482832014-07-12T13:28:27.349-07:002014-07-12T13:28:27.349-07:00Thank you for setting out, so cogently, solutions ...Thank you for setting out, so cogently, solutions to this multifaceted problem. The "quiet desperation" seems single and seamless when it descends, but it does have accesses --practical inroads and service ports-- that respond well to those who open their hearts, minds and do not yield to the temptation of blaming others. It takes time. I find it an absorbing retirement project that I can do sitting down. Geo.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16221314320558128986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-69743555871023808932014-07-11T09:38:14.682-07:002014-07-11T09:38:14.682-07:00So much wisdom here, Kathy.So much wisdom here, Kathy.Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-74865926161698622552014-07-11T09:09:54.346-07:002014-07-11T09:09:54.346-07:00Amen... Well put, Kathy. It's all about our ...Amen... Well put, Kathy. It's all about our attitudes. We need to take what we have and make the best of it. We need to put our emphasis on others rather than on ourselves. We need to give up the pity parties.... Life can be hard.. We just need to make the best of ours.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />BetsyBetsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-86897620376107186122014-07-11T09:07:28.584-07:002014-07-11T09:07:28.584-07:00So true. I am one of those going backwards. I was ...So true. I am one of those going backwards. I was a SAHM for over 25 years and have just recently entered the workforce teaching computer to elementary students. My shelf life will be short. Ha! I'm also stuck in one of those marriages and can't get out due to finances. But I'm also remembering to be grateful that there is a roof over my head, that I have heat when it's cold and air when it's hot, that I have water, etc. And I have my health. Being aware of these things does help. As does shifting my focus to others. This is a wonderful post! Empty Nesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14060983954463697344noreply@blogger.com