tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post7421148963298877918..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Parents and Adult Children: Clashing ExpectationsDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-9965730899264309952014-09-01T15:36:39.550-07:002014-09-01T15:36:39.550-07:00Well put…we should not be in each others' pock...Well put…we should not be in each others' pockets. I have seen that happen with families and it makes everyone unhappy. Distance can be a good thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11579290528370693262014-09-01T15:35:47.234-07:002014-09-01T15:35:47.234-07:00Excellent advice. I wish my older brother who is c...Excellent advice. I wish my older brother who is currently estranged from our dad could read it and take your advice to heart. O-town Ramblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12462693501650732288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-40004618083533880702014-09-01T13:54:23.741-07:002014-09-01T13:54:23.741-07:00So, so wise. It is a good thing to ask ourselves h...So, so wise. It is a good thing to ask ourselves how we disappoint, instead of just focusing on how they might be disappointing us. We're blessed in that my parents live a pasture away from us and we all eat together at least twice a week, but you can never be too assuming.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930262815304757150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11375544152228595302014-08-30T10:50:59.750-07:002014-08-30T10:50:59.750-07:00Much wisdom here, Kathy. Our two children live wit...Much wisdom here, Kathy. Our two children live within a few hours drive of us which works really well. Far enough away not to be in each other's pockets, but close enough to have regular, if not always frequent, contact. It works for us all.Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-78821322723287687772014-08-30T07:20:59.441-07:002014-08-30T07:20:59.441-07:00Well stated, Kathy. So far, so good on our end. Bu...Well stated, Kathy. So far, so good on our end. But I suspect that as time goes by, things can evolve and this is one that I want to keep at hand as an easy reminder! Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-19163806371460011882014-08-29T11:14:02.330-07:002014-08-29T11:14:02.330-07:00Dear Kathy, I wrote a long comment and then hit th...Dear Kathy, I wrote a long comment and then hit the wrong key and lost it. Basically I just wanted to say that as a single woman I had expectations in moving back home after 51 years and I've come to realize how unrealistic these expectations were. So now I'm trying to live in the present as I know it, not as I wish it to be. And that brings peace. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-80828185175762426682014-08-28T19:10:12.196-07:002014-08-28T19:10:12.196-07:00Good advice. We considered moving to where our da...Good advice. We considered moving to where our daughter and grandchildren live, fortunately we took our time and decided that it isn't a good move. There's no guarantee that children will stay in one place, and most retirees can't afford to follow them around the globe year after year. The grandchildren come to us in the summer. We fly to see them several times a year. It's not perfect, but we have a close relationship with our grands.#1Nanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04214011945298439939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-84265191170804840922014-08-28T17:16:53.747-07:002014-08-28T17:16:53.747-07:00Goodness you tackled a pile of problems in this po...Goodness you tackled a pile of problems in this post I don't have children, after reading this I think I may be lucky. I know my siblings always seem to be in the middle of some drama or another. Like you stated so well, compromise but mostly communication--not nagging or whining seems to be the key. Great post. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-16480919235886405002014-08-28T13:26:53.158-07:002014-08-28T13:26:53.158-07:00Hi, I wrote a long comment and promptly lost it.....Hi, I wrote a long comment and promptly lost it.. Duh!!!! Anyhow---I sometimes think that there can be more friction between parents and adult children than at any other times in those childrens' and parents' lives... Some parents expect too much from their kids and grands--and some kids expect too much from their parents... OR reverse that!!!! Some parents expect too little from their kids --and some kids expect too much from their parents. OR--maybe the parents just don't know what to do with their own lives after their entire priority had been raising the kids... They have to fill that void --and don't really know how. OR--maybe the adult kids never leave home, and sponge off of their parents rather than making a life for themselves... There are just so many things which CAN happen... Kathy, maybe you should write a book about this... I'm not sure that anyone has dealt with this 'hard' subject... I may piggyback on this blog post (again) --and blog about this since it has affected me and my life tremendously.<br /><br />My situation is that after raising my three sons and after being a work-a-holic all of my adult life, I finally found a life for ME. Everything changed --and my kids and grandchildren didn't understand what had happened to their mother/grandmother. There has been a lot of friction between us. My life went on --and I was extremely happy ---yet my children/grands thought that I had abandoned them. It hasn't been easy --but it is what it is... I now have a great relationship with my sons, but it has taken some hard work from all of us....<br /><br />Hugs,<br />Betsy. Betsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-50635046129119419842014-08-28T10:50:49.860-07:002014-08-28T10:50:49.860-07:00We raised our children to be independent, and now ...We raised our children to be independent, and now they are! Wish I saw them more often, but they're grownups now. Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-85785694483547172132014-08-28T10:06:03.249-07:002014-08-28T10:06:03.249-07:00So much wisdom in this post!
There should be a wh...So much wisdom in this post! <br />There should be a whole book on this topic.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-4150196858737044602014-08-27T21:28:12.859-07:002014-08-27T21:28:12.859-07:00this really hit home for me today and my hubby and...this really hit home for me today and my hubby and I are already discussing ways to do things differently....now we have to get the kids on board, hehe.joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112607125596693550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-34638927789276728202014-08-27T17:24:45.713-07:002014-08-27T17:24:45.713-07:00What a wonderfully cogent, insightful and kindly p...What a wonderfully cogent, insightful and kindly post! As a grampa and father --our offspring are in their 30s and 40s-- I have learned exactly what kind of idiot I am, which is a privilege. My wife and I have learned so much from these experiences that we cherish workable compromises as we value understanding and forgiveness --all mechanisms for repairing the future when it needs it. Future looks good. Geo.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16221314320558128986noreply@blogger.com