tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post6859124626190125629..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Stronger in the Broken PlacesDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-29596406489625843772011-04-22T08:01:26.814-07:002011-04-22T08:01:26.814-07:00Wow! Your blogs never cease to amaze, inspsire, an...Wow! Your blogs never cease to amaze, inspsire, and touch my heart. Your incredible honesty and how you communicate to touch people is a testament to what I'd said sometime ago of you: a life well-lived. I'm so inspired I may make you a subject of my next blog at Token Rock. ;-) Love you.Barbara Ferrellhttp://www.barbaraferrell.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-89037752938244803712011-04-17T20:43:10.006-07:002011-04-17T20:43:10.006-07:00I was surprised at the history you shared. I cont...I was surprised at the history you shared. I continue to be amazed at the experiences of the blogging community. Thanks for sharing. We can all learn so much from each other.#1Nanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04214011945298439939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-60200954354950263062011-04-16T21:16:12.905-07:002011-04-16T21:16:12.905-07:00Love really is the greatest gift, Broad. Thanks so...Love really is the greatest gift, Broad. Thanks so much for your insights.<br />Linda, you're right that real life, in general, is way better than many of us grew up expecting. As for those who had it good as kids, I have a cousin Jack-- the son of my mother's favorite sister -- who had incredibly loving parents and a great life as a child. He and his sister grew up to be fantastic people as well. But Jack has this semi-tongue-cheek routine he does about "Life Always Gets Worse". His childhood was so great it had to have been downhill in a sense. Those of us who grew up in less ideal circumstances have seen life get better and better!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-41012860400779013412011-04-16T20:32:25.233-07:002011-04-16T20:32:25.233-07:00Oh Kathy, what an amazing post you have here. I wa...Oh Kathy, what an amazing post you have here. I was blessed to have parents who loved each other throughout their marriage of 63 years and who were able to tell each other they loved each other and were not afraid to show their affection for each other -- often we would walk into a room and find them having a warm embrace. And they were both always there for my brother and two sisters and always loving towards us. However, this did not mean that we children have not had our problems with our relationships -- often because the people we had chosen had issues that we had never experienced. We discovered that relationships and marriage are much harder work than we had any idea of from our observation. And I had some relationships that were 'doozies'! No my parents were not perfect and there were things I had to work out about life 'on the outside' of a functional family. But the greatest gift was knowing the love.The Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04976467218216864644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-39202024291133647352011-04-16T18:57:59.955-07:002011-04-16T18:57:59.955-07:00For some reason, I dreamed of a picket-fence life....For some reason, I dreamed of a picket-fence life. I got, instead, an isolated, lonely childhood, a failed first marriage, and substance abuse. Then I got a life. No picket fence, but real life in which most days are way, way better than I could have expected.<br /><br />I wonder how people growing up in loving, functional families manage to cope with life disappointments, since they had it good growing up. <br /><br />I'm ready for the sun to come out in Washington State!Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-17169289384593355412011-04-16T18:40:29.607-07:002011-04-16T18:40:29.607-07:00Thanks so much for your kind comments! I particula...Thanks so much for your kind comments! I particularly value your opinions since all four of you certainly have had your challenges as well. I started writing it with you in mind, Sally. Perpetua, you're so right that loving parents can make such a difference. I had a conversation not long ago with a friend who is a nun who was my favorite teacher in high school. She was talking about a former classmate and friend of mine who is living in a prison of pain and inertia and reflecting that, on the surface, my own family dynamic was much more dysfunctional than my friend's. "But I remembered the critical difference," she said. "Your parents -- as crazy and out there as they were -- truly loved you. Hers were less dysfunctional but cold and distant. She felt an outsider all her life. You've felt loved. That makes all the difference." I agreed wholeheartedly.<br /><br />Patti, I appreciate your passing the post to your friend and hope it's helpful to her. Of course, it depends where she is at the moment in her life storm/crisis. If you could have seen and heard me in the midst of some of the above, you would have seen a lot of crying, raging and general whining about my lot in life until I grew past the crisis and got some perspective and my sense of humor back.<br /><br />One incident that stands out as the moment I knew I would survive my nice Catholic doctor coming out of the closet. I had spent a weekend crying non-stop, alone in my apartment. Finally, my next door neighbor, a wonderful gay man, knocked on my door, came in and gathered me in his arms. After I had cried on his shoulder for awhile, he said "I actually came to tell you that I'm taking you out on the town tonight. We'll have a great dinner and I've got tickets to a play I know you'll love: Glenda Jackson in "Hedda Gabbler." I started laughing through my tears, touched by his loving concern and amused by the fact that he was proposing to soothe my depression by taking me to a play about suicide! I threw my arms around him and said "Only you would take me to "Hedda Gabbler" to cheer me up!" We went, had a good time, and laughed about his choice of entertainment for years. <br /><br />We have a choice in crisis - to be permanently embittered and overcome or to keep living with love and hope. The choice isn't always clear in the middle of a storm in one's life, but is evident as time passes. I guess the secret is to not cling to bitterness and disappointment and to learn to laugh between your tears, which makes you stronger for the next challenge.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-84803485176585060692011-04-16T16:44:34.685-07:002011-04-16T16:44:34.685-07:00What an amazing, inspiring post. Your path was roc...What an amazing, inspiring post. Your path was rock and pain strewn, but you and your family actually did become stronger in the broken places. You should be commended for some in similar situations do not become stronger but become imprisioned by their pain and are unable to move forward. I have a friend in such a prison and think I will send her this link. Thank you.Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-23929928881136927412011-04-16T14:21:44.034-07:002011-04-16T14:21:44.034-07:00Kathy, I had to go away and come back to reread th...Kathy, I had to go away and come back to reread this before being able to comment. Thank you so much for sharing your story and the deep wisdom and insight that have grown from your experiences of pain and loss. <br /><br />In the late 70s/early 80s I lost both parents and a beloved father-in-law in quick succession and the holes they left have never been filled. I too was very ill more than once in childhood, but was blessed in having two loving and dedicated parents who pulled me through. Reading your story has helped me re-evaluate and appreciate my own.Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-38497225948962920412011-04-16T14:01:25.990-07:002011-04-16T14:01:25.990-07:00You are an inspiration! Yes, indeed, our life hist...You are an inspiration! Yes, indeed, our life history helps us understand and empathize. It gives us another layer of depth and another layer of hope. Thanks for putting it all in perspective.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-72959657575291925602011-04-16T13:08:49.890-07:002011-04-16T13:08:49.890-07:00Kathy, this is truly and beautiful and inspiration...Kathy, this is truly and beautiful and inspirational post. Your vulnerability and ability to face the hard things in life are what make you the wise and gracious woman that you are. Thanks for sharing.Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.com