tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post595588453930273302..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: Turnstile TimeDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-87768822743936979762013-01-08T17:13:01.700-07:002013-01-08T17:13:01.700-07:00Once again, Kathy, the words you share are spot-on...Once again, Kathy, the words you share are spot-on and resonate. Rick and I call ourselves the "at bat" generation. (Well, I'm at bat; Rick is still on deck with considerably younger parents than mine who died when I was 25 and 42.) Shortly before Christmas we decided to modify our wills to include one another and that brought up the whole concept of considering downsizing at some time or another. Not yet. I'm only 61. But he threatens the dumpster would arrive and I'd rather all the art things, china, silver, holiday things and the other parts of my life go where I want them, not into a giant yard sale. I'm also looking at fixing up bumps in the house so that someday someone else won't have to do it. Sometimes it is overwhelming. But sometimes, outrageously liberating, too. Very nice.Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-61960192680933369402013-01-08T06:26:09.599-07:002013-01-08T06:26:09.599-07:00What kind and intelligent advice.
I had not even ...What kind and intelligent advice.<br /><br />I had not even considered what you're talking about today. My mother (fine at 71) is ninth of 14 children, 11 of whom are still alive. I can imagine that at some point soon there will many, many funerals to go to...<br /><br />I'm going to call my mother today.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-66828952168765959232013-01-07T21:48:33.649-07:002013-01-07T21:48:33.649-07:00You really struck a chord with me with this post. ...You really struck a chord with me with this post. I am still reeling from my aunt's death which occurred yesterday. She is the last of my father's siblings. Only my mother, age 96, remains from that generation. You have so accurately described how I have felt about the passing of one generation and realizing that now it is only those of us from our generation that really knew the old guard. I know my children can't really understand why I am feeling the way I am. Death seems much closer at hand and more real. <br /><br />We still have so much more to discard. We've done much, but I have much, much more to go. I really don't want my children to have to go through so many of the papers I've not gotten rid of even after our recent move. <br /><br />It was difficult to dispose of my daughter's things. Many are still in containers in my crawl space. The kids went through them once. They will have to again because I have not been able to get rid of them.<br /><br />We do have our affairs in order. My husband and I did that a few years ago before we went to Europe. It is good to know that is done. I am clear when I speak to my children what I want done. I hope to not leave things in a mess for them. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-71564297318386448782013-01-07T20:38:19.432-07:002013-01-07T20:38:19.432-07:00I did the turnstile thing four years ago. We have ...I did the turnstile thing four years ago. We have planned for our aging, but of course you never know. We are wintering in Tucson in a park model - and find we're quite content in 700 square feet, with only the contents of the car we drove down in to add to the rental. My mother downsized three times before she finally passed away. We went through the storage unit after her passing and took almost all of it to Goodwill. It was important to her, but not to us.<br /><br />We have decided that, as we downsize, we will keep the things that are important to us. We've told our kids to do what they want with what's left behind, without guilt.Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-24840585382938685452013-01-07T13:56:57.209-07:002013-01-07T13:56:57.209-07:00How very wise you are, Kathy.
We too have had thou...How very wise you are, Kathy.<br />We too have had thoughts like yours; my husband is many years older than me and for us the possibility of death isn’t really in the distant future any more. we have made what arrangements we can but there is still the clearing out to be accomplished.<br /><br />There’s a spring-clean in the offing.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-24150717394994789832013-01-06T22:29:02.483-07:002013-01-06T22:29:02.483-07:00I can't begin to imagine how you got all that ...I can't begin to imagine how you got all that work done in just one day, Kathy! No wonder there was some screaming involved!<br /><br />Another very good and thoughtful post. I am fortunate to have both my parents, in their 80's now, but I know it will be a jolt when I reach "the turnstile" (which is a wonderful analogy, by the way).jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-44913270792537746752013-01-06T11:01:35.584-07:002013-01-06T11:01:35.584-07:00Your post hit home today with the things that need...Your post hit home today with the things that need to be done. Mine is partially done, but I know there is more to do. You really don't want to think about some of it, but as you said, you need to do it. My kids told me that they wanted to get things done as to what we wanted. They didn't want to be the ones that had to make that decision. Thank you for your visits. Hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri Friend.Shirleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06648865214694535566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-63581396516173130512013-01-06T10:05:57.702-07:002013-01-06T10:05:57.702-07:00As always, advice which is wise, pertinent and tim...As always, advice which is wise, pertinent and timely, Kathy. <br /><br />Having no aunts or uncles on my side of the family, my sisters and I have been up by that turnstile since my mother died 30 years ago. Thankfully my darling mother-in-law is still with us and in addition my DH still has a few aunts and uncles to keep his place by the turnstile.<br /><br />The first thing we did when we married at the age of 21 was to make our wills and we've kept them updated ever since for the children's sake. wW're busy doing the powers of attorney at the moment, as we watch my MiL's memory deteriorate rapidly and realise how easily this could happen to one or both of us one day. <br /><br />Some people call it morbid. We call it plain commonsense and kindness to those who will have to take responsibility in the future. Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-81667740683073077312013-01-06T07:01:33.153-07:002013-01-06T07:01:33.153-07:00All we have is this moment, and we must embrace it...All we have is this moment, and we must embrace it. Your great piece really made me start contemplating those sobering things we don't ever like to consider when times are good. Thank you for always highlighting, in such an engaging and thoughtful way, those things which we must actively embrace!Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930262815304757150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-19959037841951447422013-01-05T23:42:08.235-07:002013-01-05T23:42:08.235-07:00Oh man you hit the nail on the head. I do miss my ...Oh man you hit the nail on the head. I do miss my parents and do feel we have taken over and our turn is next.<br />Terrible feeling. Also power of attorney sometimes is not enough You need a living will apparently.<br />Someone you trust not to kill you lolA Lady's Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11973102350411443282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-17821475345736636012013-01-05T21:45:38.812-07:002013-01-05T21:45:38.812-07:00Practical matters!
Yes, indeed!
Most people can...Practical matters!<br />Yes, indeed!<br />Most people can't wrap themselves around the concept of death, at any age. We made our wills for the first time after our boy's funeral. Before that, we thought we had all the time in the world.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-29290244340880504482013-01-05T21:10:07.235-07:002013-01-05T21:10:07.235-07:00This is great advice underscored by your own famil...This is great advice underscored by your own family's story. When my mom died, my sister and I moved up to the head of the family. We still had two aunts living, but when they died, we were aware of being the oldest generation in our extended family. <br /><br />I have given much thought to the advice you have given. I helped my mom clean out my godmother's house after she died. I was struck by how many things she kept that didn't mean anything to anyone else. It seemed wrong to get rid of so much that meant something to her, but there was no one who cared about it. <br /><br />In recent years, I've started getting rid of things that I know won't mean anything to my children. I've kept family photos, for example, but I've thrown out lots of photos that have meaning only to me. I've taken care of all the paperwork sorts of things. I hope to leave my kids with as little as possible to take care of.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm now following yours and look forward to reading more.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.com