tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post3605026070335606434..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: When Does the Blame Stop?Dr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-85435485908378087802018-10-25T17:10:34.037-07:002018-10-25T17:10:34.037-07:00Thanks for your marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed...Thanks for your marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it,<br />you can be a great author. I will remember to bookmark your blog and <br />will often come back someday. I want to encourage continue your great writing, <br />have a nice morning!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-76368882469523244512018-04-25T23:58:27.951-07:002018-04-25T23:58:27.951-07:00This blog was... how do you say it? Relevant!! Fin...This blog was... how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have <br />found something that helped me. Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-7924915168102742622017-09-07T01:36:58.872-07:002017-09-07T01:36:58.872-07:00Good day! This post couldn't be written any be...Good day! This post couldn't be written any better!<br />Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this.<br />I will forward this page to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.<br />Thanks for sharing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-2294118995982919432016-12-30T18:04:09.423-07:002016-12-30T18:04:09.423-07:00We are the easy out for our daughter...no matter w...We are the easy out for our daughter...no matter what happens, she can blame it on us. She speaks negatively about everybody to her 13-year-old daughter in order to make herself look like a perpetual victim....doesn't she realize how this is going to color her daughter's view of the world? No, we didn't get everything right...we admit that. But we had many wonderful times as a family. Her father has a major illness..you think she'd be a little sensitive to that. I also resent her former therapist, who seemed to have pat answers for all of our daughter's issues...which our daughter was very happy to lay claim to in order to excuse herself from adult responsibility. Our daughter is going to be fifty....life has a habit of causing you to wise up if you live long enough, and it's very painful to realize how flawed your thinking was. We love our daughter, and don't want to think of her enduring that pain. Most of all, she needs to change for the sake of her daughter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-43519271139528836682016-03-10T06:13:16.224-07:002016-03-10T06:13:16.224-07:00I identify with your response. As a single mother...I identify with your response. As a single mother, I'm sure I made mistakes. I know I worked hard, gave up a lot and tried to always put the needs of my children first. It has not worked out as well as I hoped. cajungeneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10942241362757910826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-73837455251554608602015-09-28T12:02:33.143-07:002015-09-28T12:02:33.143-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.sel1891https://www.blogger.com/profile/01568023718060601420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-66842744133030041032015-09-28T12:02:00.309-07:002015-09-28T12:02:00.309-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.sel1891https://www.blogger.com/profile/01568023718060601420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-32513458646541756172015-09-28T12:00:07.462-07:002015-09-28T12:00:07.462-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.sel1891https://www.blogger.com/profile/01568023718060601420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-72335085653673399222015-09-28T11:59:26.421-07:002015-09-28T11:59:26.421-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.sel1891https://www.blogger.com/profile/01568023718060601420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-72145704986541419382015-09-03T14:20:13.993-07:002015-09-03T14:20:13.993-07:00Next time I would make sure I was too busy for the...Next time I would make sure I was too busy for their next request.....this is how they get the message. Like children!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10723584759126768788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-15276417038871004892013-10-09T05:38:10.590-07:002013-10-09T05:38:10.590-07:00As I look back on my parental years, I can re-live...As I look back on my parental years, I can re-live, as if it were yesterday, my getting out of bed each and every morning, for what would now be over 11,000 days (ponder on that number for awhile), and consciously giving the best I had to give to my husband, son & daughter. That giving was in spite of all of life's ups and downs and pressures that didin't go away just because I was a wife & mother. There were alot of tears & prayers through the difficult times, but there was far more laughter & fun. Unfortunately both of my children only choose to take the difficult times into consideration when they look for reasons why their adult lives are so hard for them now. One of my sayings has been "When you have all the responsibility, you get all of the blame". Yes, I'll be the first to admit that not only have I made mistakes along the way, but things have also turned out disappointingly different even when I made conscious choices I thought would assure favorable outcomes for my children. Isn't motherhood the hardest job in the world? It's so easy to be on the outside, looking in and passing judgement. It would be far more difficult to step into the shoes I've worn for the past 30 years, be faced with the decisions I've had to make as a wife and mother, choose differently and get that guaranteed favorable result you want. The paradox is there are no guarantees! Our best teacher is not a critique of the text-book childhood raising we had and what should have been done differently, it's living your own life, making your own difficult decisions along the way and being able to handle the outcome, whatever it may be with strength, courage, grace and unconditional love. This falls under another saying I appreciate: "Experience is the best teacher". Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-36716702706418322422013-05-02T13:58:02.802-07:002013-05-02T13:58:02.802-07:00some adult kids blame their parents because its mo...some adult kids blame their parents because its more easier to blame others than to blame themselves. Its much easier to pass on the blame to someone else. Adult kids should take advantage of the opportunities in life, and stop being lazy and bitter. nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17328530522750550496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-12840117707262707392012-11-22T13:36:01.093-07:002012-11-22T13:36:01.093-07:00AMEN! My Dad used to remind me that The Lord woul...AMEN! My Dad used to remind me that The Lord would never give that much Control to any one person with skin on to shape our entire Destiny. I Loved my Dad's Sage Native American Wisdom... always Brief and Profound... it always stuck with me. His other Fav Words of Wisdom "If the horse is dead, get off..." made me realize that if something isn't working, it's up to me to make the Change... not my Parents, my Kids, my Husband, my Friends or G-Kids... ME. It's my horse {Life} I'm riding... sometimes we need to switch horses {Choices} and those are ours alone to make and ultimately shape our Destiny.<br /><br />Dawn... The BohemianBohemianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03743017084098726581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-25404038593034642042012-10-21T08:45:42.338-07:002012-10-21T08:45:42.338-07:00Tapping my inner Buddha is HARD. Even at the ripe ...Tapping my inner Buddha is HARD. Even at the ripe old age of 54. I do try to keep in mind that, when others disappoint me, it's probably because I have put my own expectations on them. I believe they should do things the way I would do them. Which is nuts. This is not so easy when it comes to the husband, however. LOL Really enjoying reading your blog!Empty Nesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14060983954463697344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-21518235804615106212012-10-20T21:05:10.919-07:002012-10-20T21:05:10.919-07:00Something I read over twenty years ago, that has h...Something I read over twenty years ago, that has helped me immensely in accepting other people's behavior, is the concept that people are doing the best they can do, considering their upbringing, experiences and understanding of life. People don't set out to make others miserable. They don't wake up in the morning thinking how to mess up. They may lack tools, education, knowledge that we have and take for granted. That doesn't mean they're not doing the best they can with what they have.<br /><br />It was a life-changing moment when I understood this.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-58119563461244330752012-10-20T00:57:00.811-07:002012-10-20T00:57:00.811-07:00Part of 'growing up' is learning that one&...Part of 'growing up' is learning that one's parents are human. I went through a couple of years when I first left home of finding a great deal of fault with my parents for not being perfect! It wasn't long, however, before I discovered what exceptional people my parents really were and one of the things that really helped was becoming a parent myself! The Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04976467218216864644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-28296956818558818392012-10-19T20:59:11.854-07:002012-10-19T20:59:11.854-07:00It's hard to accept irresponsibility in others...It's hard to accept irresponsibility in others when I'm so reliable myself. Still, I'd rather be happy than right. Usually.Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-63917896844328375862012-10-19T18:51:38.266-07:002012-10-19T18:51:38.266-07:00I don't know why but we do seem to live in a w...I don't know why but we do seem to live in a world where everyone wants to blame someone else for what is their own fault. Sometimes it is the other person's fault but usually it's their own. <br /><br />Your neighbor's were wrong to do you that way. I have a neighbor that relies on me for lots of things. The one time I ask her to get my daughter from the bus she shows up late or something. Very unreliable so I don't even ask. Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15240864960032938754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-50576414597716756042012-10-19T18:48:14.072-07:002012-10-19T18:48:14.072-07:00Kathy I am sorry that your neighbors let you down ...Kathy I am sorry that your neighbors let you down and,<br />pleaded innocent. At the very least admitting responsibility for their actions would<br />help the wound.<br /><br />I have known this kind of pain. It makes me want to cling<br />to my introvert ways and, stay inside. And, at times I do<br />just that. Not healthy perhaps but, it feels like I am nurturing the broken places giving myself time to heal.<br /><br />I am happy you have made peace with your neighbor. I do hope you and, your husband can release the pain quickly.<br /><br />Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. Bettynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-83184066662056373562012-10-19T11:39:36.947-07:002012-10-19T11:39:36.947-07:00Thought-provoking post. Your neighbors are irrepar...Thought-provoking post. Your neighbors are irreparable flakes. What Theo did was help you repair the future. Geo.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16221314320558128986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-34290726994932764312012-10-19T11:04:08.382-07:002012-10-19T11:04:08.382-07:00Oh, so true! It all boils down to what is more val...Oh, so true! It all boils down to what is more valuable to us; to hang onto our rightness and righteousness, or the ability to live in peace and grow.<br /><br />This is really a handicapping thing for so many people today. Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930262815304757150noreply@blogger.com