tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post3116688091037247136..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: A Strange Thing About MemoryDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11395796906245972432017-04-05T13:34:41.680-07:002017-04-05T13:34:41.680-07:00Great post... I have said many times as I get ol...Great post... I have said many times as I get older (will be 75 in August) that my biggest fear is losing my mind as I get older... I have no symptoms and am doing fine now (I think) with just the normal memory problems of aging (like where are my keys).... <br /><br />I don't think any of us would choose to live with dementia. The nursing homes are filled with people with no quality of life much at all.. Very very sad... <br /><br />I love your example showing the difference in age-related memory problems VS real problems... Not knowing where your keys are is 'normal' as we age --BUT not knowing what the keys are for shows REAL problems. GREAT example. <br /><br />Thanks for sharing..... IF you come and find my keys, I'll come and find yours.... ha<br /><br />Hugs,<br />BetsyBetsy Banks Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16223591156634767330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-9566095322568766242017-04-04T16:20:29.802-07:002017-04-04T16:20:29.802-07:00I love your example of true love of a family, Jean...I love your example of true love of a family, Jeanie! What a first stay-over Christmas! And your memory distortions are so understandable!<br />Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-36686462498341864512017-04-01T07:38:48.764-07:002017-04-01T07:38:48.764-07:00You nailed it, Kathy. And well, (as always!). I th...You nailed it, Kathy. And well, (as always!). I think we often worry about the things we forget but don't always honor the things we remember. (Like, where the keys are!). I have gone through long periods of looking for something I put in a safe place. It's really safe because I haven't found it in a year of looking. But while I think I might be losing that part of my mind, the fact that I can remember it is in a safe place comforts me! And I know why I want to find it, which is good too!<br /><br />I've been experiencing Alzheimer's through the husband of a friend and I think what we all want to remember about John is the John we knew. I bet he wants to remember that too, if he can process that. I'm not so sure. But you are so right about distortion of memories -- bad and good. My friend's deceased child who died at 12 has become a prodigy. And my mother's cancer treatment 40 years ago triggers fear with every mammogram, despite the rational knowledge that these days, detection is faster and treatments, still hard, help this disease from being an automatic death sentence.<br /><br />I had to laugh about cleaning up the retching. My first Christmas staying over with Rick and the boys, we heard hurling at 5 a.m. Don't ask me why, because I can't tell you -- but I was the one wiping up the floor. And that's when I knew, I was willing to be with this family for a long time. That's one of those bad memories that turns out to be good!Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11390108806627379272017-03-30T15:23:19.475-07:002017-03-30T15:23:19.475-07:00Thanks, Patti! Yes, it was always amazing to me ho...Thanks, Patti! Yes, it was always amazing to me how many people would eagerly volunteer to clean up such messes. It has to do with the Catholic school culture, I think. We would do anything -- almost anything in my case -- to please the nun in charge. My parents used to shake their heads when I'd head over to the convent to help the nuns with Saturday house cleaning, leaving my at home chores undone. The difference, of course, was that the nuns would fuss over me and tell me how wonderful I was while my parents simply expected me to do the dishes or vacuum the house. Another memory from that past: in the elementary school I attended, our teachers were Irish nuns right off the boat. And they held older siblings responsible for the younger ones in all ways, including if a younger sibling threw up or wet his or her pants in class. I put my brother on stern notice that I would just simply kill him if he did any of that. He listened well. My only call-downs to his classroom were to get notes from his teacher to take to our parents about his clowning around in class. Turned out he was a genius who was simply bored!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-71992505265460298052017-03-30T15:17:50.497-07:002017-03-30T15:17:50.497-07:00Yes, I think you just have a lot on your plate! Wh...Yes, I think you just have a lot on your plate! When we're extremely busy or under chronic stress, we don't always remember everything as well as we might otherwise.<br />Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-49858242363479221912017-03-30T15:16:45.451-07:002017-03-30T15:16:45.451-07:00Thank YOU, Susan!
Thank YOU, Susan!<br />Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-42307866968253637012017-03-30T15:16:30.551-07:002017-03-30T15:16:30.551-07:00Thanks for your kind words! I think we're all ...Thanks for your kind words! I think we're all on alert -- especially when we have a family member with dementia. I think we all have our memory glitches though. Glad you are keeping track of your keys!<br />Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-30440054299988618282017-03-30T15:14:27.050-07:002017-03-30T15:14:27.050-07:00Yes! That's fascinating. I think that a lot of...Yes! That's fascinating. I think that a lot of adolescents (and adults, looking back) feel the same way -- confused and rejected when a beloved parent seems to be withdrawing affection.<br />Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-65299446555518565262017-03-30T15:10:36.242-07:002017-03-30T15:10:36.242-07:00Wonderful post. I do remember the good and the not...Wonderful post. I do remember the good and the not so good from the past quite well and in detail. The mundane is gone forever. <br />I can't believe so many hands went up volunteering to clean up Phyllis:)) I'd have been like you.Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-85576592410877262532017-03-30T12:07:05.574-07:002017-03-30T12:07:05.574-07:00Excellent post! I don't have a great memory bu...Excellent post! I don't have a great memory but my 85 year old mother does! She gets annoyed when I don't remember something that happened while my children were growing up (they are 30 plus years old) and I get annoyed because I don't remember! As a fulltime working mom a lot of my memories are a blur from the time the children were born until they graduated! I often find negative memories override positive memories. It's like my brain is clay and every bad thing that ever happened is etched into the clay. I do have a lot of positive memories but I struggle to pull those out sometimes! I love the comparison of normal temporary memory loss and the possibility of dementia. I have written it down and put it on my fridge so I don't forget! I recently had a conversation with my spouse about what he needs to do should I suffer from dementia and about an hour later he said to me What was it we were discussing, I can't remember! My grandmother had a memory like a history book right up until she passed at age 98. Is something like that inherited or is it a skill that is honed through the years? Like Homer Simpson I sometimes think my brain will only hold so much information and whatever comes in last shoves out whatever was ahead of it! Thanks for a thought provoking article!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-45524773044056887402017-03-30T10:57:50.901-07:002017-03-30T10:57:50.901-07:00Another excellent post - thank you!Another excellent post - thank you!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03627048113043386097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-48850310184993353582017-03-30T05:27:57.100-07:002017-03-30T05:27:57.100-07:00You ending sentence was perfect and gave me a chuc...You ending sentence was perfect and gave me a chuckle. This was an excellent post. My grandfather suffered from Alzheimer's and we all tend to be on high alert when we forget something that seems so simple to remember and, when we wrack our brains, still come up empty. One brother seems to be recalling things that no one in the family remembers and also not remembering from one conversation to the next what was said. I don't know whether we should be concerned or not as he is not one to always pay close attention to what others are saying but more on what he has to say. I don't mean that in a negative way, but it makes it difficult to draw the line between a problem and his personality. His wife doesn't seem concerned. I tend to push the bad memories down to be pulled up when I need to be reminded of some hard learned life lesson and keep the good ones where I can easily access them for a needed uplift. Luckily, I always know where my keys are. However, remembering why I walked into a room...not so much. LOL Empty Nesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14060983954463697344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-77297436289787028302017-03-29T16:54:59.211-07:002017-03-29T16:54:59.211-07:00Love the ending. I have had some weird memories a...Love the ending. I have had some weird memories and one in particular that presented itself in a reoccurring dream. These eyes were always following me in a void and I couldn't get away from them. A counselor helped me get to the bottom of that dream, whereby I slowed downed and asked the eyes what they wanted. They wanted to know why my mother quit kissing me good night when I hit puberty. Wow! It was a memory that bothered me greatly. So I asked my mother and she said that at the time it was thought to be unnatural, but I had taken it as rejection. Nice to get that clarified.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com