tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post2024918618982756596..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: A Heartbreaking Loss...and Toxic CondolencesDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-71802600082178792462012-11-22T13:19:48.928-07:002012-11-22T13:19:48.928-07:00I have lost a lot of Fur Babies over the years and...I have lost a lot of Fur Babies over the years and come to terms with the reality that they just don't live as long as we do and prepare myself when their lifespan seems near it's end or there's an unexpected loss. But I must say that when we recently lost our Beloved Cat Rat Boy after nearly 20 years together, it was more painful than I could have ever imagined or prepared for... even though 20 years for a Cat is obviously just about as Old Age as it's gonna get! I realized the Reason for my deep Grief... I had been her Favorite and she had stood by me daily with unconditional Love that was unmatched even when People hadn't been able to or wanted to. Wow, was that ever a Revelation... our Fur Babies do often provide that unconditional Agape Love that Humans don't or can't always match, no matter how Beloved the Relationship is. Even when our Loved Ones {Humans} aren't always there, a Beloved Fur Baby very often is and give us their full Attention and all of their Affection... that's HUGE... and that Void is tough to fill when a particularly Loyal Fur Baby passes. Your Sage Advice on what and how to offer Condolences is great... most people couldn't understand how the loss of our one Cat hit me so hard when they know we've been an Animal Sanctuary of sorts for so long and Grieved numerous losses. Like some People, some Pets really do have the Personality and Character we Connect to more deeply than we sometimes realize... until they're Gone. Loving your Posts BTW and delighted that I discovered your Wonderful Blog this Thanksgiving Afternoon while waiting for our Ham to cook! *LOL* <br /><br />Dawn... The Bohemian<br /><br /> Bohemianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03743017084098726581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-14519799913055398392012-11-10T14:52:00.896-07:002012-11-10T14:52:00.896-07:00Dear Kathy, this posting speaks loud and clear to ...Dear Kathy, this posting speaks loud and clear to all who do not understand how an animal can become a beloved family member. When "A Cat's Life: Dulcy's Story" was published back in 1992, I received so many letters from readers who'd lost an animal they dearly loved. They thanked me for understanding and for telling just exactly what a cat--or dog--could mean to a human. And they related stories about how those in their workplaces did not understand.<br /><br />Your list of what can said is so helpful. Thank you. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-37897257641529459412012-11-08T19:52:11.821-07:002012-11-08T19:52:11.821-07:00Please tell your friends that there are many of us...Please tell your friends that there are many of us who they will never know, out here in blogland, who understand so well, and grieve with them.<br /><br />Bless all pets, little and big, for their love and companionship.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-76172518730456146692012-11-06T12:04:59.128-07:002012-11-06T12:04:59.128-07:00I can't tell you how many animals I cried over...I can't tell you how many animals I cried over. You have them and they attach themselves to your heart. You argue with them love them feed them and they become your children just as your own children are. Your children love them as well.Today I am looking at my dog and thinking how will I bear it when she dies? She comes to you to give you her belly to scratch when you are busy, kisses you ,says lets play ball wagawag a wag when you feel blue or achy, looks at you with such expressive lively eyes. There is no replacement for this soul.She is my pal and when she goes I will grieve for her.<br />Dogs are like people. They all have characters. Every one should have a dog.A Lady's Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11973102350411443282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-19186081286105499152012-11-06T07:47:01.645-07:002012-11-06T07:47:01.645-07:00Not everyone gets the love and special place pets ...Not everyone gets the love and special place pets can hold in our hearts and lives but everyone can be sensitive to loss! Thanks for sharing that message. The richness that my pets (and family/friend's pets too)have added to my life is not measurable and each one will always live in my memory. Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606687719768606817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-79930631707098922012-11-05T17:48:16.136-07:002012-11-05T17:48:16.136-07:00A very thoughtful post. I am one of those people ...A very thoughtful post. I am one of those people who doesn't get the extreme attachment some people have for their pets, but that does't mean that I am insensitive to the very real grief that they feel when the pet dies. One way of making a tribute in Nora's honor would be to make a donation to an animal shelter in an area that experienced the storm last week. #1Nanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04214011945298439939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-80941284874344696572012-11-05T17:39:25.138-07:002012-11-05T17:39:25.138-07:00Some folks are just thoughtless - not mean, just w...Some folks are just thoughtless - not mean, just without consideration for the feelings of others. In our house, pets are family. We just experienced a near loss of a beloved bulldog. Our family was already devastated at the thought we might have to euthanize him. He is recovering and we love him now more than ever. I have had 10 cats in married life. Each one was a family member and we were sincerely heart broken when they died. It doesn't get easier and it doesn't have anything to do with if you have children. It has to do with how well you can extend your heart to another being - person, dog, cat, ferret, bird ... if you can't extend your heart it doesn't make you a bad person, just different. Retired Knitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13662288640032813770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-51067341986130411502012-11-05T12:09:27.852-07:002012-11-05T12:09:27.852-07:00True words of comfort, sincerely spoken from the h...True words of comfort, sincerely spoken from the heart never repetitive or meaningless to the recipient. When people become dismissive in their attempts to be comforting, I think it is just a sign that they haven't been through quite the same thing (but then again, I may be giving some folks too much credit).<br /><br />Another sage and wise post!<br /><br />My condolences to your friends in the loss of their sweet Nora, a member of the family with as much status as any human member. Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930262815304757150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-59323752180296836392012-11-05T12:06:58.547-07:002012-11-05T12:06:58.547-07:00I am always amazed at how stupid people are, the s...I am always amazed at how stupid people are, the stupid things they say.<br /><br />My condolences to your friends.<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-17173585584554483902012-11-05T12:04:59.964-07:002012-11-05T12:04:59.964-07:00Please give your neighbors my deepest sympathy.Please give your neighbors my deepest sympathy.Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-70646950832999506342012-11-05T10:53:06.405-07:002012-11-05T10:53:06.405-07:00This is an important post. I wish it could be avai...This is an important post. I wish it could be available to the tons of people who have no idea of what it feels like to lose a pet. Admittedly, years ago, I was one of those people, although, I never would have made any of those remarks to someone whose pet had died.<br /><br />My condolences to Marsha and Joe, and I hope they don't have to endure any more insensitivity.<br /><br />(I've had a post on the backburner about pets and animals for a while; more broad subjectwise, but you've inspired me to dust it off for the near future.)Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08180243708565855383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-41099061431138185242012-11-05T10:17:51.191-07:002012-11-05T10:17:51.191-07:00A wonderful reminder to be thoughtful and consider...A wonderful reminder to be thoughtful and considerate. Thanks for this post, Kathy. You always know just how to help people deal with uncomfortable situations.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-31670691590281162652012-11-05T09:45:44.995-07:002012-11-05T09:45:44.995-07:00I feel sorry for the pain that your neighbours are...I feel sorry for the pain that your neighbours are going through at the loss of their beloved Nora-Morello-Shea.<br /><br />When I lost Leo, my big beautiful long hair marmalade cat I was devastated and I cried like a baby for days, and the same with my two other cats who had to be anaesthetize few years later for terminal cancer. <br /><br />I was grieving and I still miss my furry kids.<br /><br />People told me to get another cat but I could not replace them and I still haven't replaced them. Love for each other is real for either people or pets.<br /><br />Hugs for your neighbours and caring thoughts. <br /><br />JBJuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03423754263165266554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-30935943070734767652012-11-05T09:37:56.785-07:002012-11-05T09:37:56.785-07:00People are so different, and some just don't p...People are so different, and some just don't pay attention to others feelings or desires. Its hard to learn to ignore the bad and find the good in people. I've missed reading your insights. You have a way of writing.Lisaluluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11896606339541499616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-25546001129782026752012-11-05T09:08:45.262-07:002012-11-05T09:08:45.262-07:00Lovely reminder of how to be good neighbors and co...Lovely reminder of how to be good neighbors and compassionate, empathetic people. Some folks just don't get it. That is why a lesson in social skills needs to be given at times. <br /><br />Please let Nora's mom and dad know that we care and are sending love and hugs to them as they deal with the loss of this sweet girl. I know how much their hearts will ache over the loss of this wonderful companion. Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-13652966540361685182012-11-05T08:37:37.932-07:002012-11-05T08:37:37.932-07:00Only those who have recieved the unconditional lov...Only those who have recieved the unconditional love of a pet can understand the tremendous loss. The rest who find love for a pet bewildering, I feel a bit sorry for.<br />That neighbor's comment was the most calloused I have heard of. <br />My prayers and condolences to Nora's parents. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.com