tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post1846729737201286597..comments2024-03-15T22:00:36.095-07:00Comments on Dr. Kathy McCoy: Living Fully in Midlife and Beyond: November 1: A Precious GiftDr. Kathy McCoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-81212131917823635412016-10-15T13:12:06.857-07:002016-10-15T13:12:06.857-07:00Kathy, thank you for sharing your story of Mike. H...Kathy, thank you for sharing your story of Mike. He and I were close friends at UCLA as we had similar backgrounds. I did health work in Thailand for several years and speak Thai. Mike had such a good heart. I am so glad--really relieved--to learn that Mike has married Amp and is a dad. How wonderful for him to come out of the dark tunnel and be in the light! My life has turned out well, too.<br /><br />In addition to your writing about Mike, I find the rest of your blog quite engaging. I retired this week, so now I have time to read something other than work-related articles. <br /><br />Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-49103887738883052232011-11-10T10:21:27.978-07:002011-11-10T10:21:27.978-07:00This beautiful post has touched me very deeply -- ...This beautiful post has touched me very deeply -- it seems appropriate your brother's birthday should be on All Saints Day. The bond between you and your brother and sister is, I am sure, why you have been able to transcend the abuse and cruelty of your childhood for through it all you knew love and that sustained you. I did have to smile when you described him as having the face of an Irish politician as a baby -- he did, didn't he?The Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04976467218216864644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-83839120430914030812011-11-07T18:06:29.541-07:002011-11-07T18:06:29.541-07:00Just as I thought the beautiful girl, Amp is an As...Just as I thought the beautiful girl, Amp is an Asian Citizen. most of Asian are really beautiful. My father is also born on november 1 and still he jokes alot that during his birthday the world celebrate for him. :)<br /><br />Can you share this or make a reblog for me? Its about <a href="http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980702239" rel="nofollow">5 Cheap Gift Ideas for Doctors and Nurses on Thanksgiving Day</a>. Thanks.Andrew Smithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-59177035846842454992011-11-06T09:18:19.642-07:002011-11-06T09:18:19.642-07:00Kathy, I can't even begin to count the number ...Kathy, I can't even begin to count the number of emotions and feeling that went through my heart as I read your tribute to Mike, a story both enchanting, horrifying, heartwarming, disturbing and ultimately, affirming. I am so grateful that through all the pain he experienced as a child, he was able to triumph to become a kind, loving man who has let love into his life. I know you are a gift to him. It's clear, he is one to you.Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-7503760494405145942011-11-05T14:27:31.318-07:002011-11-05T14:27:31.318-07:00It's hard to imagine a father being that cruel...It's hard to imagine a father being that cruel to his children, or a child triumphing so completely over that kind of pain. Inspiring story.Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17223278142557533175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-59349159701824536642011-11-03T08:03:41.922-07:002011-11-03T08:03:41.922-07:00Oh my what a heartbreaking story. Praise God it ha...Oh my what a heartbreaking story. Praise God it has a Happy Ending. Happy Birthday to a very amazing brother and happy anniversary to you for meeting the man of your life.<br />I cried reading this post. I too lived an abusive childhood but nothing compared you yours.<br />Will come back later I am just overwhelmed right now with this story.<br />You both are amazing to have accomplished so much in life especially considering your child hood horrors.<br />Love<br />MaggieGrandma Yellow Hairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917551672825097342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-64067382852319359202011-11-02T20:22:03.214-07:002011-11-02T20:22:03.214-07:00This is incredibly touching. Happy birthday to you...This is incredibly touching. Happy birthday to your brother! You and your siblings have done so well to put the past behind you and create joy in the present.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-69466549958359281422011-11-02T08:29:59.018-07:002011-11-02T08:29:59.018-07:00Dear Kathy, your posting leaves me breathless. Out...Dear Kathy, your posting leaves me breathless. Out of dark tragedy came glorious triumph. Thank you for sharing this story of your brother's resilience. <br /><br />Why your father's mental illness did not destroy your brother's innate joy in living is caught up in Mystery. Like Sally, I believe that you and your aunt and your grandmother were the foundation on which your brother could build such a rewarding and inspiring life.<br /><br />This story was so poignant. And yet such a great tribute to your brother and his wife and child and to all those who somehow find a way to embrace the goodness of life. He is, and I mean this sincerely, what "hero" really means--someone with noble qualities who triumphs over adversity.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-807397342769065042011-11-02T07:36:52.488-07:002011-11-02T07:36:52.488-07:00Kathy, i finished reading this with tears in my ey...Kathy, i finished reading this with tears in my eyes and yet a smile on my face. Your brother sounds like a truly wonderful person. Thank you for making him real to us. <br /><br />As well as feeling horrified by the abuse Mike suffered, I find it sad to think of what your father lost by not being able to love and appreciate the boy he had fathered. A wasted life.Perpetuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214396019726161983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-23399438021813843952011-11-01T18:30:48.720-07:002011-11-01T18:30:48.720-07:00The strength of the human spirit is amazing! I am...The strength of the human spirit is amazing! I am glad your brother has found such happiness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-66053777887209436822011-11-01T17:47:44.585-07:002011-11-01T17:47:44.585-07:00BJ, thanks so much for your kind comments about th...BJ, thanks so much for your kind comments about this post and my blog in general. That means a lot!Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-48550402777837154232011-11-01T17:42:32.127-07:002011-11-01T17:42:32.127-07:00You're very welcome, Barbara! I hope you had a...You're very welcome, Barbara! I hope you had a wonderful birthday today! And I did remember that you and Mike were born on exactly the same day, same year, but wasn't sure if you'd be O.K. with the age disclosure. I had a feeling you would be though someone I wrote about recently, mentioning her age, was a little unhappy about that detail.<br /><br />Thanks so much, Patti, Shelly, Pearl, Rosaria, Linda, Betty, Sally and BJ for your very kind comments. It was an easy post to write in the sense that I so adore and admire my brother, but very hard to write, too, because of the pain of his childhood in particular. <br /><br />Patti, I'm so thrilled that Mike has managed to break the cycle of abuse. He was very afraid of having children because of his past, but the minute he saw and held Maggie, he felt incredible love and tenderness and has absolutely amazing patience with her as she hits the "Terrible Two's" <br /><br />Shelly and Linda, it is, indeed, a story of how even a little love and positive attention can go such a long way. Mike was very blessed to have Grandma and Aunt Molly in his life. And also Sister Rita who tried to keep him safe as long as she could and who never forgot him. She and I have been lifelong friends -- she's now 81 -- and she still remembers little details she enjoyed about him when he was a first grader. She, too, thought he was very bright and that the home situation was getting in the way of his learning. I will be featuring her in a blog sometime soon.<br /><br />Rosaria, it IS interesting, as you noted, that we're all in giving professions. My sister, too. Tai is a labor and delivery nurse at a hospital in the Seattle area. We all naturally gravitated toward the helping professions as, I suspect, many people with less than perfect childhoods do.<br /><br />Pearl, thanks so much for your birthday greetings and also for your heartfelt congratulations! You know, when we were kids, this was really all we knew. We knew that relatives like Aunt Molly and our two other aunts -- Evelyn and Ruth -- as well as Grandma were kind and we loved spending time in Kansas with Grandma, Evelyn and Ruth and summers and weekends with Aunt Molly, who absolutely played a huge role in our survival. (Interestingly enough, she was our father's sister -- but a completely different personality.)<br /><br />Happy Birthday to your wonderful Dad, too, Betty!<br /><br />And, Sally, thanks so much for your comments. I never thought of myself as contributing to Mike's ability to survive. Certainly, we did help each other and look out for each other. But, oh, if he hadn't had Grandma to take him in and Aunt Molly to love him, I do tremble to think, too. <br />Regarding forgiveness, you're right. One may not forget, which we haven't, but some amount of forgiveness is necessary to move on with one's life. I think I expressed some of that in a blog post last June on Father's Day, when I told our father's life story and the horrendous abuse he faced growing up -- from an alcoholic, mentally ill mother after the death of his beloved father when he was still a young child.<br /><br />It was interesting, by the way, that Mike grew up with a strong resemblance to this beloved father our own father lost far too soon. I don't know if our father ever realized the striking similarities physically as well as emotionally. Mike did confront him about the abuse when he was in medical school. Father never apologized or admitted wrong-doing. But he seemed to seek out and enjoy Mike's company at the very end of his life, so I think they came to some sort of peace or, I'm hoping, Mike felt a sense of peace.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-184801355897140482011-11-01T14:08:21.116-07:002011-11-01T14:08:21.116-07:00PS: I'm sure I'd love your brother, who is...PS: I'm sure I'd love your brother, who is probably a great guy ;-) as well as your other 11/1 friends. Mike and I are the same year too. LUV You.<br />BarbaraBarbara Ferrellhttp://www.barbaraferrell.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11580719940832326352011-11-01T14:05:38.952-07:002011-11-01T14:05:38.952-07:00How sweet of you to say this. It is now a wonderfu...How sweet of you to say this. It is now a wonderful birthday for me. I'm tearing up right now. Love you. BarbaraBarbara Ferrellhttp://www.barbaraferrell.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-78649764926690359312011-11-01T13:32:21.450-07:002011-11-01T13:32:21.450-07:00Dr Kathy, I don't think I have ever read a mor...Dr Kathy, I don't think I have ever read a more heartbreaking and heartwarming story as this one about your special brother.<br />Love your Blogs.Bjhttp://www.onajourney.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-14770456680557349662011-11-01T12:40:34.893-07:002011-11-01T12:40:34.893-07:00This story just plain warms my heart and gives me ...This story just plain warms my heart and gives me so much hope when I think of others who are abused and trying to overcome damage to the soul. I think you were very much a contributor to his ability to be resilient. You gave him a sense of stability early in life that he found nowhere else. I tremble to think where he would be without the three women who gave him love and support in his childhood: you, Aunt Molly, and Grandmother. <br /><br />His wife is beautiful. They are a beautiful couple. <br /><br />One other thing, I hear forgiveness toward your father in this story. I think you must have forgiven him, even though he didn't deserve it, because you have both become such giving people.Sally Wesselyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06470453773515491625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-30552670763828824972011-11-01T09:23:44.548-07:002011-11-01T09:23:44.548-07:00Happy Birthday to Mike. I guess it´s a day of grea...Happy Birthday to Mike. I guess it´s a day of great men. My dad has his birthday today too. :)Betty Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02357132033070346815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-26449233428595020772011-11-01T08:34:37.065-07:002011-11-01T08:34:37.065-07:00Wonderful story of what love and support can do to...Wonderful story of what love and support can do to a wounded spirit. Happy birthday, Mike!Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-22792222784391775312011-11-01T05:15:08.232-07:002011-11-01T05:15:08.232-07:00Wow. Happy Birthday, Mike.
And congratulations t...Wow. Happy Birthday, Mike.<br /><br />And congratulations to both of you, for living through -- and thriving after! -- a horrendous childhood. My heart goes out to you.<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261369905176088917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-47975301369955011822011-11-01T05:09:04.372-07:002011-11-01T05:09:04.372-07:00What a beautiful story, Kathy! Surely, this is sur...What a beautiful story, Kathy! Surely, this is survival at its best. Both he and you have chosen to be givers in your chosen fields.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-11843012373803954342011-11-01T04:57:39.256-07:002011-11-01T04:57:39.256-07:00I was greatly moved by this loving and beautiful b...I was greatly moved by this loving and beautiful birthday tribute to your brother. Anything in life is possible with just an ounce of love and encouragement. I'm so glad your aunt and grandma were there to support you all.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04930262815304757150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7754684819908801536.post-79324388834676989062011-11-01T04:55:47.002-07:002011-11-01T04:55:47.002-07:00This amazing story made me cry aching tears for th...This amazing story made me cry aching tears for the two of you and especially Mike as this was his story. How you both accomplished so much inspite of the childhood you suffered, is such a testiment to the strength you both share. That he broke the cycle of abuse is incredible. Thank God for Grandma. <br />A very touching post.<br />Arkansas PattiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com